WTF

Today the Bunster brought home #68 in the series of tiny little pamphlets that his school uses in place of the old Dick-and-Jane books I remember from my childhood. You know the stuff: "See Spot. See Spot run. Run, Spot, run. See Jane. See Jane run." and so on. Well, compared to these modern little gems, the D & J's were major works of literature.

Here's the latest, in its entirety:

Music
Don likes music.
Don's mom also likes music.
Mom says humans can make nice music.
Mom drops Don off for music class.
Don plays the bugle.
Don makes music with his bugle.
Don is a pupil in music class.
Don likes music class.
Mr. Cupid is starting a new music unit.
It is a unit of new music.
Don is a human who makes music.
He makes music with his bugle.

Yes, it's plotless and written by a robot with a tin ear. Why don't they just have the kids read a random list of words with the "u" sound? It would at least be less of an affront to the sensibilities of anyone who values literature and the English language.

The previous sixty-seven booklets were varying degrees of awful. Meaning that none were actually good, but about a half-dozen of them were passable and at least another dozen were as bad as this or worse.

I know I can do better. Indeed, it would be quite difficult to do worse. So here's my first attempt:

See this pamphlet? It is a unit of words. It is a unit of words with the sound "u." You are a human. You can read the words. You are a human who reads words with your eyes. Mom says humans who read words like this will grow up with no appreciation of the beauty of the English language. Mom despairs for the young humans being taught with this crap.

Facebooked

Wow, it's been a really, really long time since I've posted anything here! It seems that at the moment I don't have anything coherent and public to say, alas. It's times like this that I wish I'd kept a few inventory blog posts, from back when I was more prolific.

I have laid off of Facebook somewhat, but it's still the best online place to catch up with me. Someday I'll be back here...

Facebookaholic

Hi, my name is Sara and I'm a Facebookaholic.

(everyone) "Hi, Sara!"

It started small. I only opened an account because my friend L.M. asked me to, as part of a "project" he was doing for business school. Of course, now I can see he's just a pusher, but I was so naive then. That was it, just one time, plus a quick hit to enter a little minimal profile info. No photo, even. I could have just walked away, but I didn't.

A little while later, a friend request came in from J.B, whom I'd known at Renaissance Faire. So of course I confirmed. I mean, who wouldn't?

And then it slowly snowballed. One friend after another. I kept confirming and confirming. Once, I even went through my husband's friend list, just looking for people I knew so I could add them.

I did manage to ignore the apps. That's good, right? That shows some will power. I didn't accept the title of nobility, you know. And I didn't take my move in Scrabulous. Okay, okay, I admit it...I did try to do Scrabulous, but I had some kind of weird computer glitch with Firefox and it wouldn't work. I'm trying to be honest, here, okay? Cut me a break.

Besides, there's a good side, too! I'm getting back in touch with old friends...people I haven't seen in 18 years, people I've missed and wondered about. And I'm seeing photos of myself and my friends from back in the day. Bringing back to memories. It's great stuff. Really, it is.

So now I have this karma request. And I'm rethinking the no-apps thing. How bad could it be? I can quit anytime. Or at least pull back a bit. I don't have to check the "Friends Of Ol' Marvel - Marvel Comics Alumni" discussion board twice a day. That's totally a choice. And I can stop.

Sure I can...you know, right after I just comment on that great photo S.B. just scanned and posted, that is...
 

What? Wait, Halloween's OVER already? How?!

Oh, hey, it's November. Whoops, I completely missed my October post. I'm trying to check in here at least once a month...you can see how well that's working for me.

And I even had a few topics to blog about, too: my first mammogram (not too bad, once I quelled the panic), our yard sale (also not too bad), the Bunster's Halloween costume (another not-too-bad one), and of course the election (which was both fantastic and awful, depending on which part you look at). Hey, I even found a use for this blue tool. But despite having plenty to say, I didn't find the time to say it.

And I'm not going to be able to say it now, either, because I'm out of time. Ain't that always the way?

So here's the Bunster in his light-up satellite costume.


See you next month!
 

The Bad Sarah

Bonnie Fuller has a piece in the Huffington Post about Sarah Palin that I wish I'd written. That woman is scary (Palin, not Fuller....well, actually, Fuller is a little scary, too, but for reasons related to women's fashion magazines, not international politics).

I think my least-favorite story about Palin is how, while she was mayor, Wasilla billed rape victims and their health insurance companies for the cost of the rape kit used to gather evidence. And no, they didn't change burglary victims and their homeowner's insurance companies for fingerprint kits used to investigate those crimes.

My theory about her nomination is that McCain believes that he can attract the independent and undecided votes himself (remember...he's a maverick!...not in Bush W.'s pocket at all! No sir!!), but needs someone to turn out the socially ultra-conservative voters in large numbers. By picking inexperienced Palin, he gets that running mate with far-right credentials, but without a lot of political capital she could use to challenge him. So he can run a more middle-of-the-road Republican administration without a powerful Cheney-type VP meddling in his policies.

No idea whether he's correct, but boy do I hope he's miscalculated. Having Palin one fluttering heartbeat away from the presidency is more terrifying than another four years of Bush Jr. Although you could argue that by voting for McCain, we can get both!