The Bunster, my three-year-old son, can easily can take a solid half-hour to eat a small bag of M&Ms. Not only is he a slow eater anyway, but there's also the M&M ritual on top of that. Here's how he eats an M&M:
Bunster: What is this? (holding out his hand)
Me: I don't know, Bunster, what is that?
Bunster: A red M&M!
Me: How nice! And what does it have on it?
Bunster: A "M"! (He'll learn about "a" and "an" at some point. Kid's only three, so right now it's up in the air which he'll use.)
Me: An "M"? Wow! And why does it have an "M" on it?
Bunster: Because it's an M&M!
Then he eats that single M&M, fishes another out of the bag, and begins the ritual again.
It doesn't speed things up if I don't participate...he'll just prompt me for my lines and then wait patiently for me to deliver them. Takes even longer.
Oh, and that thing about "melts in your mouth, not in your hand?" Yeah, not so much if you're in preschool. And those dyes don't wash off easily. He always has smudgy rainbow hands for an hour or two, until I can sneak in a second hand washing to get the last of it.